Propaganda!

Retro.

2010-03-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

This just has to be fake.

It just has to be.

(Via You're Horrible.)

Lady O.

2010-03-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

Say what you will about our president and his skills thus far...

Oh, hey. That's offensive.

Anyhow, say what you will but you have to agree...

We've got one hot First Lady. And she knows how to dress herself.

Texas.

2010-03-15T08:42:00.001-07:00

Alright, kids. Let's start this off.

I was born and semi-raised in Texas, as you may know. ("Semi-raised" because we made pit stops in Oklahoma and Florida before moving back to Texas when I was 7.) Thankfully, my parents decided to stick around Texas after that. I've lived in central Texas, north Texas and southeast Texas (where I am now, for the time being). As a result--and as a reflection of the incredible diversity of Texas--I've got barbecue sauce and zydeco music coursing through my veins.

Anyhow, I do love my great state and I am proud to be a Texan. I'm not going to claim that Texas is the best place ever (or even the best state in the union). I've never been everywhere, so I can't make that judgment. But it is home and I do love it.

And Texas Monthly is one of my favorite magazines. Much more than a simple Texas travel magazine, TM manages to pack in incredible photographs, amazing articles and tons of other info every single month. It really is quite fantastic.

The March issue detailed what was hailed as "The Bucket List," or "63 things every Texan must do before they die."

Well, I'm setting out on a journey to do all 63. (I've already done a few in my life, but I'm going to try and do them again.) I love Texas with all my heart, but I haven't even come close to seeing everything there is to see. So, I'm going to detail that journey right here, on my blog.

I hope that even you non-Texan readers (I'm sorry, by the way) will enjoy my musings on Texas. I'll try to take it easy on the whole "TEXAS IS AWESOME" spiel and stick to the more universal themes.

So, my first stop on the bucket list? Reading Larry McMurtry's "Horseman, Pass By." McMurtry is a seminal Texas writer, most famous for his epic (and massive) "Lonesome Dove." He's credited with revitalizing and redefining the classic western novel. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Alright. Redirect. Go.

2010-01-27T09:07:00.001-08:00

Okay. I've been a bad, bad blogger. I know this. But here's the thing, I got a job. So now that I have a full-time job, blogging is not my first priority.

However, I'm trying to recommit and redirect. My posts may not be as pop-culture heavy as they used to be, especially since I'm not quite the culture vulture as I used to be. I am, however, cooking a lot more. So maybe that will find its way into my posts.

I can't make any promises, but check back soon. I'll try and get this thing off the ground again.

2010-01-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

Though I do like some of what I see on Pitchfork Media, I'm oftentimes frustrated over their extreme aversion to popular music. They're really too indie for their own good.

However, with their recent review of Lady GaGa's latest album, I have to give them props for giving the album the grade it deserves (a 7.8, a perfect grade for the album which is quite good but not AMAZING), but also for this quote:

"Remember that "Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror where the Krusty the Clown doll was trying to murder Homer? Turned out the problem was the doll had a switch on its back set to "evil" and with a flick of the wrist, it could be reset to "good." It feels like sometime late last summer, someone flicked a similar switch on Lady Gaga. For about a year, she was nothing but a lot of talk and a badge-- only without the badge. She filled her résumé and interviews with style icon namedrops-- Andy Warhol and his notions on celebrity, the denizens of New York's downtown arts scene, and avant couture designers like Thierry Mugler-- but her singles betrayed none of the artistry that she insisted was part of her package. "Poker Face" had about three big hooks, but next to her other singles-- which ran the gamut from forgettable fluff ("Just Dance") to "Muffin Top" ("LoveGame")-- it seemed like a fluke. Then, between the VMAs and "Paparazzi", she came into her own. And on "Bad Romance", the lead single from The Fame Monster, she became kind of awesome."

I've said it before, but it's true. I didn't really like her first album. The singles were pretty alright, but as a whole it was lackluster (yet another reason why it should NOT be nominated for a Grammy for Album of the Year). But with The Fame Monster and its original single "Bad Romance," Lady GaGa became less of a derivative poseur and more of an icon-in-the-making.

So, good on you PFork.

Breaking the silence.

2010-01-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

I'm breaking my blogging silence (sorry 'bout that, by the way) to post this...

This is a "new" song by M.I.A. that may be called "There's Space for Ol Dat I See," perhaps from her upcoming album...supposedly due this summer.

I'm being vague because there's not really much we know about it. She posted it on her Twitter with just the song "title." It may not be new, but it comes complete with a video! It seems very much in the vein of "20 Dollar" or some of her other slower songs.

I like it. Enjoy!

Palin.

2009-11-20T11:45:00.001-08:00

All you need to know from her interview with Oprah on Monday.

Real.

2009-11-19T09:47:00.001-08:00

Oh, Allison Iraheta. You'll always be my Idol.

You're not an arrogant dick or a mildly entertaining (but ultimately bland) singer-songwriter.

You're an unabashed, Kelly Clarkson-emulating, A-Ha video-aping pop singer. And I thank you for that.

Go 'head, girl. Keep on keeping on.

Crazy "Crazy in Love."

2009-11-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

I've said it a thousand times, but "Crazy in Love" is one of my favorite songs ever. It seems fresh every single time I hear it. Every now and then, on a random listen, I'm blown away all over again by the horns, Beyonce's vocals and just the pure joy of the whole song.

Anyhow, thanks to Pretty Much Amazing, I found a cover of the song by VV Brown that actually captures the "crazy" in the song. Her cover is frenetic, all over the place and pretty much amazing. (Ha!)

Cool, huh?

Sorry for the long absence. I'm working on working out a end-of-the-decade type countdown for my favorite albums/songs of the noughties. So...stay tuned.

While you're waiting, take some time to listen to the two Beyonce/Lady GaGa collaborations going around right now.

This is "Video Phone," a track (and latest single) from Beyonce's album that she's sort of re-releasing with a Lady GaGa verse.

The song is one of my favorites from her last album. And the video is hot as hell.

And this is "Telephone," a track (and rumored next single) from Lady GaGa's latest...uh...album The Fame Monster.

Lady GaGa has been somewhat hit or miss for me. Her debut album was alright in my eyes, but I wasn't spazzing out over it. However, I've gotten a hold of her newest work (the eight-song album/reissue) and I have to say I'm pretty impressed. "Bad Romance" is an over-the-top, massively catchy, hot mess of a song. It's epic. And though my favorite part of this "Telephone" song is the Beyonce verse (it's almost like a rap cameo), it's definitely a great pop song. And the other six tracks are equally bizarre and rather terrific.

Glambert.

2009-10-27T15:54:00.001-07:00

This here is the album artwork for Adam Lambert's upcoming album, For Your Entertainment.

And...this is just...I can't...

Huh?

Ladyboy.

2009-10-27T11:59:00.000-07:00

The genius folks at the Onion have done it again, this time in video form.

Below, learn how you can keep your effeminate son from embarrassing you and your family on Halloween.

My favorite tip? "Keep your son's hands occupied so he can't clap and squeal."

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

Hilarious.

First family.

2009-10-23T09:24:00.001-07:00

Whatever your political sway may be...

You have to admit that is a good-looking family. Seriously, I would totally let them adopt me if the Jolie-Pitts decide against it.

Thanks Annie Leibovitz and Vanity Fair for taking this first official portrait of President Obama and his family.

Lamp.

2009-10-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

This video--detailing the tabloid-ready life of the Pixar lamp--is just genius.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Zeitoun.

2009-10-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Ever since I graduated in May, I've read about a book a week. I read a lot of non-fiction, along with some really embarrassing fiction trash-lit. (Think Candace Bushnell.) Anyhow, I've loved the freedom to read whatever I want whenever I want at whatever pace I choose. And with my work, it's actually quite easy to get in some reading time while I'm getting paid. (There's a long time in between the 6 pm newscast and the 10 pm newscast.)

But you know how every now and then, there's that one book you read that you think about for days, weeks, even months afterward? It gets lodged in your head, causes you to have an internal dialogue and just might change you. Well, Zeitoun, by Dave Eggers is the most recent book to do that to me.

I finished it Thursday morning and haven't stopped thinking about it since. I've recommended it to three or four people, which I actually do not do often. (Like I said, my taste for bizarre non-fiction books is not shared by many people.)

Anyhow, this is a non-fiction book, but told with a very narrative bent. Dave Eggers, as many of you may know, wrote A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius as well as the screenplay for the just released Where the Wild Things Are.

The book is aboud Abdulrahman Zeitoun, a Syrian-American Muslim living in New Orleans who stayed after Hurricane Katrina and gave service to many people and animals with the use of his secondhand canoe.

He's a fantastic man, one full of spirit and good-nature. For a week or so after the storm, he was the only hope that many in his neighborhood could find.

But he also fell victim to some incredible human rights violations. I won't go into it here--you really need to read the book--but let's just say that what he went through is horrifying and sad.

In one book, I found myself proud to be a human and fellow American of Zeitoun. However, I was also ashamed to live in a country where this man could go through what he did, as a fully-verified American citizen, successful business owner and upstanding denizen of New Orleans.

When I finished the book, I wanted to do something, to make sure that these types of things never happen again. (I've read several books about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans, including the epic and astounding The Great Deluge by Douglas Brinkley. It never ceases to blow me away the missteps that local, state and federal governments made in that tragedy.)

There's not much I can do right now, really. But I figured I'd start with sharing the book with you all, hoping that you'll at least read this incredible book.

Happy.

2009-10-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

I've always believed you make your own happiness. Despite your surroundings, your place in life, your career or whatever else, happiness is what you make of all of it.

My good friend and co-blogger (though she's far better at it than I will ever be), Heather posted something yesterday that made my day and warmed my heart. (However trite that may sound.)

She's gone through a lot over the past few months. I won't go into detail about it here. If you're that interested, she bravely and unflichingly recounts that time on her blog. But just know, she has every right to be pissed off and sad and down about all of life. But then, she goes and writes something damn near perfectly inspiring. Read her blog here, and read her words below.

"I am currently seated at a local coffee shop just a few blocks from my apartment. It's small, and has local artists' work on the walls for purchase. A young man, most likely in high school, is playing an acoustic guitar and sharing a song list of cover, original, cover, original, cover.

I don't know if it's the two drinks I had at dinner, the euphoria of my best friend being here, or just simple talent: but I like him. He is strumming along, sharing his heart and his voice with a small crowd, and he looks like he is doing what matters- he looks as if THIS is what life is all about. His guitar, words like poetry flowing through the air and the auroma of espesso and hot cider surrounding. This is following some sort of path, some sort of idea, some sort of thought or feeling or knowing that this is happiness.

Today had been full of happiness.
Waking up to no alarm and remembering it was only friday and my weekend was one day longer.

Breakfast and daytime TV with one of my oldest friends, chit chatting about topics that barbara and whoopi and joy and the girls were discussing, and getting ready on my time for an afternoon of fun with my co-workers. Picking out a pumpkin and laughing with the people I spend each day with, and going to dinner with a few of my favorites. And now here, in this moment, with a Joshua Radin cover, soy pumpkin latte and Danielle.

And to think 3 months ago I was broken and scared and confused and sad, facing something I never thought happened in real life, but only in movies and television.

All this to say, if today is rough- know that the happiness is coming. Truth is, the happiness is OUT THERE, waiting for you to take ahold of the moment and seek it until you find it. In the small things. Because truly, that's what makes the happiness, things that seem small, but in truth are big.

The wonders of a small human growing inside of one of the most brillant, beautiful, and kind women you've ever met. And the fact that a friendship has lasted over a decade; despite distance. Reaching warmness thanks to steamed milk and hot espresso. And hearing people make music, not because they want more money or even to pay their bills, but because they truly love it and truly believe it can change the world. And maybe, just maybe it can. And knowing you are strong enough to survive the hard stuff, because you have before and you will again.

Today, I was going to point you to two of my very wonderful friends' blogs for follow friday- and although I think you SHOULD be reading them already, I'm going to save it for next week (sorry, ladies)because for all the blogs you could read, there is something else for you to follow. Happiness. And you should follow it to the core and to the death. Because it's out there for you, right this moment.

Trust that. And go find it."

Simple.

2009-10-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying that I love Sesame Street. I didn't make that past tense because my love is still there. Sure, I don't really watch it anymore. But I appreciate it for seriously shaping me as a kid and an adult. I would not be the man I am today without this show. And I'm being 100% serious.

Sesame Street, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and Reading Rainbow were a part of my daily routine for years and I think all three shows taught me a lot about what it means to live honestly. Again, I'm completely serious.

Take this, for example. (Hat tip to InkTank.)

Grover explaining marriage. It's so simple, yet so true. This show is so subtle but complex at the same time.

And don't even get me started on Mister Rogers. Fred Rogers is one of my favorite people of all time.

I watched his final episode back in 2001 and I cried. I am not ashamed to admit that because Mister Rogers is a seminal part of American television and childhood in general, and I felt that the end of his show was heartbreaking. And his death in 2003 was terrible, as well.

Just watch this.

Seriously. How can you watch that and not smile and cry at the same time? "It's such a good feeling to know that we're lifelong friends." It's true, Fred Rogers. Very, very true.

Five.

2009-10-06T07:19:00.001-07:00

This December, Disney will be returning to what made it famous...princesses.

Though they've sidetracked into some less lucrative (and less...creatively successful) fare over the past few years, the studio has decided to revive its traditional animation branch (under the genius guidance of new-ish chief creative officer John Lasseter, who helmed the inimitable Pixar for years) with a brand new princess movie.

And it features the first ever black princess. In New Orleans.

It's hyped to be another one of Disney's classics, on par with The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. It'll be hard to return to those glory days, where Disney could literally do no wrong, but I'm rooting for the entertainment giant. I've got a soft spot in my heart for all things Disney, so I hope this turns out well.

Anyhow, here's the first five minutes of the new Disney movie, The Princess and the Frog.

If you can judge a movie on just five minutes, I think this shows immense promise. These five minutes were incredibly enjoyable and pretty much made me smile. Here's to a just as great full-length movie.

3.

2009-09-29T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's three days until ACL, where I'll be enjoying the musical stylings of many artists and bands in the fantastic city of Austin with the even more fantastic Niki Vondracek.

So, to kick off the excitement for that, I give you...Britney Spears!

Sure, she may not be appearing on the show or at the festival anytime soon, but she does have a new single called "3." It is, not surprisingly, about threesomes.

It's produced by Max Martin (who is a living genius, y'all). First listen reaction: It's quite good. I feel like it's a grower, for sure.

Enjoy. Listen here.

Preggers.

2009-09-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

Good God...

Heidi Klum is PREGNANT.

I mean, she looks amazing here and God bless her for attending the Emmys (in Marchesa) when she's clearly about 20 months pregnant. But seriously...she is about to pop. When's her due date? March 2009?

Whatever. Way to rock it out Miss Klum.

Chest.

2009-09-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

I need to get something off my chest, dear readers. (All three of you.)

This season of Project Runway is starting to chip away at my will to live. I mean, some of the stuff that's come out of the season so far is pretty and all, but nothing is that interesting. I know every season can't have a Christian Siriano or a Austin Scarlett (or hell, even a Santino Rice, who annoyed the hell out of me), but come on...give us something to work with!

Because this...

...does not count as either fun or sassy. In fact, Nicolas is just plain annoying. Seriously. It's like he's trying to be an outrageous gay man that everyone loves, but he just comes across as sad and desperate. "Hey! Everyone! Look at me! I'm loads of fun and I'm a faaaaabulous designer." (Except he's none of those things.)

Maybe it's the challenges. (Last night was the first semi-interesting one, though the fact that they could use paint, dye and all that stuff kind of ruined it.)

Maybe it's the location. (Seriously, if you can't get Nina or Michael to judge on a regular basis due to their commitments back in New York...MOVE IT BACK TO NEW YORK CITY. Easy solution.)

Maybe it's the contestants. (They seem talented enough, but none of them so far seem particularly interesting in their vision.)

"Hold the phone. I am an amazing designer. And a recovering addict. So there."

Um. No, sir. You are a fat liar who can't really design. You may have lucked into something good those first few weeks, but I always saw you for what you were: a self-aggrandizing douchebag with a fugly-ass necklace who was a master at throwing pity parties. Nuh-uh, Johnny.

And even though you claim that PR is harder than overcoming addiction, I call bullshit. If that's the case, you must have been addicted to caffeine or something. Just saying.

HTM.

2009-09-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

Well, in case you didn't know, Fashion Week in NYC is coming to a close.

My favorite image from the week doesn't come from Marc Jacobs or DVF or Alexander Wang. It's the one above of Taylor Momsen and Lindsay Lohan at the G-Star show, hot tranny messes both.

Reportedly, she was unhappy with the seating arrangements and did some rearranging, moving Christian Siriano and Juliette Lewis around and even throwing Taylor Momsen's card to the floor. Funny enough, she ended up sitting next to the Gossip Girl star anyways.

I say whatev. Linsday is a huge star and can basically do whatever she wants. She was doing G-Star a huge favor by showing up.

Oh, wait. This isn't 2005. Just kidding.

Judge.

2009-09-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

Also...

ELLEN DEGENERES, NEW AMERICAN IDOL JUDGE...FTW!!!

I mean, is this not the biggest upgrade in the history of ever?!

Of course...

Ellen D. is one of my favorite lesbians ever and, to be frank, is probably my favorite celebrity period. I'm actually watching her show right now. (To the audience: "Hey now. We all have issues. Don't judge. Well, I can because I'm a judge." HA! She had just made the announcement moments earlier.)

I think she'll make a great addition to the show, providing a voice for the fan, the average person sitting at home watching and voting. Plus, she'll probably bring in some more viewers for the once-mammoth, now only pretty-big audience.

Boo.

2009-09-10T08:00:00.002-07:00

It's people like you, Rep. Joe Wilson, that are the biggest problem in this country.

He was reportedly the guy who instigated the jeering and booing during last night's presidential address to a joint session of Congress. He was allegedly the lead heckler during the speech.

I mean...really? I'm pretty sure there's an age limit to be in the House, right? Like, at least above 15, which is the median age of most hecklers. The maddening thing is you just know that had this been flipped, the Republicans would have been pissed if any Democrats had heckled a Republican president.

And it's pretty clear that Rep. Wilson (and many others) pretty much had their minds made up before they sad their conservative asses down in their chairs. (It should be noted that conservatives aren't the only ones who are biased and closed-minded, but still.)

I think I've made it pretty clear on here that I feel that the public option is not optional. To my mind, it's an essential part of reform and should not be brushed off due to partisan squawking.

Either way, I hope reform is passed in a timely manner. And that guys like Rep. Joe Wilson don't muck it all up.

Uh huh, that's right.

2009-09-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

Yes.

Yes!

YES! YES! YES!

Filming has begun in the streets of New York City for the sequel to the Sex and the City movie. I was somewhat in the minority and actually enjoyed the first one. Sure, it wasn't as smart as the series, but it was still a fun movie.

And if the costumes--thanks to Pat Field, of course--continue to look like this, I'm on board.

Absurdity.

2009-08-31T10:37:00.001-07:00

Two points of absolute absurdity coming at you today.

First up on the WTF Bill: Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue, source of fear in many and arguably the most powerful person in the American fashion industry, was seen this weekend.

Waiting to see The September Issue...
Standing in line...
In jeans and a t-shirt...
And flats.

That whole little section above just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on.

Can you imagine sitting next to ANNA FREAKING WINTOUR while watching The September Issue?! Answer: No. You cannot. Because before this weekend that thought was utterly impossible. Like...I expect to look out my window and see pigs flying, dogs talking and Bill O'Reilly acting like a nice guy.

Don't you see? These are things that JUST DON'T HAPPEN IN THIS WORLD.

That woman behind her has obviously just recognized Wintour and is now obviously and wisely rethinking her idea of seeing that delightful new fashion documentary on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Moving on...there's a new nominee for BEST WEBSITE EVER. (It follows such other sites as FML and that weird website where you could superimpose your face into an old-school yearbook photo.)

People of Wal-Mart highlights the...um...interesting clientele of the big-box retailer. (Note of warning: At this time, it seems like the site is experiencing crazy traffic due to a sudden increase in media coverage. So clicking might not yield many results right now. Try again later.)

I'm sure that all of you have experienced the wonders of Wal-Mart and the fine people who shop there at all hours of the day. Well, People of Wal-Mart has done us, the American public, the favor of compiling pictures into one place. Where else can you see obese people in tube tops and fannypacks? Or a mother of four in light-up hooker heels? Or a man in a Captain America costume buying condoms? No where else in this crazy world, I tell you!

Sure, it's mildly offensive towards Middle America and the red states, but these people bring it on themselves. (And, besides, the only thing that's even mildly offensive is the clearly pretentious commenters. But the three guys behind the website are actually from the Midwest, so they are only writing what they know. So back off.)

My favorites include this classy lady...

And this beautiful tribute to, uh, porcelain cats and dogs...

Bad Baptists (Again).

2009-08-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely ridiculous.

I believe in free speech. I think it's an absolutely essential part of democracy and without it, public discourse would obviously suffer and, with it, democracy as well.

However, when a pastor of a church, Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona, gives a sermon all about how he hates Obama and how Obama should die and go to hell...

Well...

What the fuck, sir? Can you seriously call yourself a Christian and actually wish Sasha and Malia to be fatherless, for Michelle to be a widow? (Words he actually said, not just my own propaganda.)

I seriously do not understand people who can claim to know God and have the "love of Jesus" in their heart and have feelings like this? It's churches like this and Westboro Baptist Church (of "God Hates Fags" fame) that make people of my generation flee from the church scene as far as possible.

I don't really know what to say about this. It seriously leaves me speechless. I'm aware that this is an extremely loud minority, but it still is chilling to hear this.

If Obama is ever assassinated (God forbid, seriously), every single one of these people spewing and listening to this venomous hate speech will have blood on their hands.

Mitchell (can't sew).

2009-08-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Mitchell, from the new season of Project Runway.

And Droopy the Dog.

Separated at birth.

I mean...I'm just saying.

Originals.

2009-08-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

As you may know, I have an odd obsession with mildly talented girl singers/actresses. Why, hello Lindsay Lohan. How do you do, Hilary Duff?

Yes, it's odd. But I make no apologies.

But before LiLo and the Duffster, I had the biggest fame-crush on the Olsen twins. Obviously, I grew up watching them on Full House. I was simply devastated when, in the two-part series finale, Michelle Tanner fell off that horse in that ill-fated ride with her black BFF (whom I also adored). I mean...she couldn't even remember their trip to Disney World, when Michelle was named Princess of the Day. (Oh boy, was Stephanie pissed about that. Michelle always got the attention.)

(Seriously, though. Even though I knew that she'd eventually get better and that cheesy music would play with the resolution in the final episode, I was simply mortified that the littlest--and best--Tanner would live a life unremembered.)

Anyhow, all that said, they were the originals. Mary Kate and Ashley were my first loves, and I will never forget them. (I still have their video series on tape.)

But it's nice to see that the two are remaining successful. Mary Kate appeared on Weeds and co-starred in The Wackness, to some critical acclaim. Ashley says she is done with acting and Hollywood, to which I give a hearty "bravo."

But the two are active in the fashion world, with TWO lines. One dedicated to the older set, The Row, and the other, lesser-priced line targeted at a slightly younger (think 20s and 30s) demographic, Elizabeth and James. Both have a men's line and both feature items that I would like to own (but certainly can't afford). And both are surprisingly unsuccessful. And since the twins' names do not appear much in conjunction with the labels, its doubtful that their name is selling the products. Instead, it seems, they are selling based on quality.

The new CFDA members (that's actually quite an honor within the industry) are profiled in yesterday's New York Times. It's an interesting read, to be sure, and it makes me happy that these two child stars have grown up into successful, normal, hardworking individuals.

Crazy.

2009-08-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

Pitchfork Media confirms my suspicions.

In their Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s, they've named Beyonce's monster of a song "Crazy in Love" as their number four track of the decade. (Outkast's "B.O.B." is king at number one. I deem it worthy.)

Pitchfork said:

"If someone told you that the sheet music for "Crazy in Love" was just a lot of exclamation points on a staff, you would believe them, right? From its first moments on til the end, its enormous beats and blaring fanfare pummel everything its path like a brutal force of nature, leaving us all with a clear choice to either turn away or submit to its indomitable power. It's fitting that this sound would be the basis of Beyoncé Knowles breakthrough hit, as it is the ideal showcase for the singer's forthright persona and her gift for vocal performances that manage an improbable balance of poised professionalism and feral emoting.

Amazingly, "Crazy in Love" isn't even Knowles at full blast-- she comes much harder on later hits such as "Get Me Bodied" and "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"-- but the sheer force of her presence is enough to overshadow a strong cameo appearance by the freakishly charismatic Jay-Z and nearly erase the memory of her former bandmates in Destiny's Child. She was no stranger to stardom before "Crazy In Love," but after its blockbuster success, there was no question that Beyoncé had arrived as the definitive female R&B singer of her era, and had become the clear successor to a lineage of superstars including Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, and Diana Ross."

After four years of near-constant play, "Crazy in Love" remains one of my favorite songs of all time.

Freddie.

2009-08-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

The beauty of American soccer (I suppose "American soccer" is a bit redundant, since America is the only place where "soccer" exists as soccer and not football) is that it is relatively small here, but can still be well-paying. Stars like Brian Ching, David Beckham and Freddie Ljungberg can play here for nice sums of money, but not necessarily sell out stadiums.

And with on-field seats, you can be really close to the players. Literally just a inches away.

Tonight, I had on-field seats for a Houston Dynamo game against Seattle. (They tied. I hate ties. Whatev.) I was within a few feet of many players, obviously, but I was most surprised by Sweden's own Freddie Ljungberg, who plays for Seattle.

Ljungberg, if you don't know, is famous for this...

His well-oiled Calvin Klein campaign.

Well, what you may not know is that he is actually quite short in person (and apparently hated by Dynamo fans). I guess I shouldn't be that surprised that he's not 6' 7'' or something, but these ads made him seem like some kind of ripped Adonis. Well, he's certainly ripped (you can't fake that), but he can't be taller than 5' 6'' or 7''.

Rights.

2009-08-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Look. As a subscriber (not to mention an American) I have my rights.

One of these rights includes the right to read my freaking magazine before everyone else in the world.

I mean, I don't mean to brag, but I am basically keeping the magazine world alive single-handedly. I subscribe to nearly a dozen titles, five of which are Conde Nast titles. In case you've been living elsewhere than our dear planet, Conde Nast is not doing so hot in these tough times. (Who isn't suffering a little, eh?) They're cutting back, closing down underperforming magazines and spending significantly less money on photo shoots. (Jersey Beach is standing in for Bora Bora nowadays.)

Anyhow, I am currently waiting on ALL FIVE of these ever-important September issues to arrive. I understand that it is not currently September and I understand that these things must go through the mail. I get that. But I have seen four of these issues staring back at me from the newsstands.

Like the 500-page behemoth above...still nothing in my mailbox. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million and even freaking HEB. C'mon! If a Texas-based grocery store has it before me, it seems like Anna and company could do me the favor of getting it to me first.

The current list:

Vogue

Details

Elle

Vanity Fair

S.I., sir, I do believe Conde Montrose Nast would be ashamed.

Shorts.

2009-08-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

As my rage is continuing to be fueled by the ongoing health-care reform debate, I turn my attentions to something less infuriating, though still quite confusing.

Behold:

WHAT IS THIS?! Michelle Obama, the First Lady of the United States of America, is wearing shorts?! That is totally rude and inappropriate. She is practically naked with those above-the-knee monstrosities!

Well, that's what some people are trying to say, at least. The Obamas, as a family, traveled to the Grand Canyon earlier this week. As you may know, this national landmark is in the desert and, as such, is extremely hot in the summertime. Hence the shorts.

Well, the Today show did an entire segment on whether or not this attire is appropriate for the First Lady. I mean, I get it. I understand. But this is a family vacation. Back in the day, before paparazzi, I'm sure plenty of First Ladies wore such outfits, there just weren't ten or fifteen desperate guys following their every move with a camera and a bloodthirsty quest to get paid. Besides, this is not some formal White House event, this is a mother showing one of our nation's greatest treasures to her children. And if we can see her bare arms all the time (not to mention her husband shirtless on a Hawaiian beach), can't we stand to see her legs?

Get over it.

Public option.

2009-08-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, the health care debate. I believe it was Bill Maher that said recently that we need to put these town hall meetings on ESPN, they're becoming so insane.

Well, I want a public health option. Or something. I work in network television. I have no insurance as of now. Even when it is available to me through my station, the insurance sucks. It basically only covers large bills and procedures. But the real stuff, the day-to-day things that everyone needs? Don't even ask.

The New York Times ran an op-ed piece by the president himself on why health care reform is necessary. Sometimes, the loud-mouthed conservatives (I'm aware there are just as many loudmouths on the left, so don't even start) forget that there are 46 million Americans without any kind of insurance. 46 million. That is ridiculous. We may have excellent health care, but no one can afford it. So...

"This is what reform is about. If you don’t have health insurance, you will finally have quality, affordable options once we pass reform. If you have health insurance, we will make sure that no insurance company or government bureaucrat gets between you and the care you need. If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan. You will not be waiting in any lines. This is not about putting the government in charge of your health insurance. I don’t believe anyone should be in charge of your health care decisions but you and your doctor — not government bureaucrats, not insurance companies."

Read the whole article by the president here.

This fear-mongering and ridiculousness has to stop, and now. So many opponents are claiming that Obama is trying to pull the plug on grandma and will do the same to you. They say we'll be waiting in lines for health care and that the world will end as we know it. I've got news for you, people. We're already waiting in line for health care. Been to an ER lately? It's mayhem.

Something, anything has to be done. I believe that the public option is a crucial part of this legislation and it saddens me to see President Obama starting to back down on this essential part of reform.

I hope that he realizes that there is a quiet majority out there that believes in reform and the public option, that we realize that this will not make us insta-Socialists. For all the horror stories of universal health care in other countries, there are just as many hopeful stories. Take this one, for example, from a US citizen and doctor living in Germany. They are a free country, a civilized one with an effective and extremely efficient universal health care system.

Pop day.

2009-08-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Well, November is going to be a great month it seems for pop music. (The good kind.)

Critical darlings (if not commercial successes) Annie and Amerie will be putting out their latest efforts that month.

Annie, who's been a favorite of mine since 2005 despite a low output (a few singles here and there, one EP), will come out with Don't Stop on November 17. And the Scandinavian singer is looking mighty cute on the cover.

Amerie, after two delays of her latest, In Love & War, will finally be hitting stores November 3. "Gotta Work" is my jam, y'all.

WTF!

2009-08-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

Basically, Gossip Girl is one of the few scripted shows worth watching left on network television. (There's plenty of it on cable. I'm looking your way, Mad Men. Get on with your bad self.)

So I'm pretty much pumped for this third season. Hello...Hilary Duff will be joining the cast. Um...yes.

Every one should be no one.

2009-08-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

I wish that all my books were No One Belongs Here More Than You, by Miranda July.

Not because it's the best book ever (though it is very, very good). But because look at that cover. It's so simple, so nice. If all books could look like that, life would be so much chicer.

Less is more, people.

Fashion.

2009-08-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I know it's been forever. I have a job and all that. Maybe someday, THIS can be my job. Someday, but not today.

Anyhow, let's make up and move on, shall we? Okay. I'm glad we're good.

It's the most wonderful time of the year (almost). September issues of magazines are popping up and--despite the fact that they are substantially smaller this year--and news on the fashion front is spilling all over the place.

First up: Ashley Olsen is gracing the cover of the September issue of Marie Claire and she's talking about everything from boyfriends to being Michelle Tanner. One choice quote: "I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her."

And Miss Olsen is looking mighty fine in the spread. Exhibit A:

Work it, Michelle!

Secondly, for all you Rodarte fans who don't exactly make enough to meet their price-point, good news! The lovely ladies behind the label are doing a line for Target! They promise it'll have the quality and the attention to detail that the high-end line features, but all at the affordable prices of everyone's favorite big-box store. It'll feature 55 pieces, priced anywhere from $10 up to $80. Unfortunately, none of those pieces will be for boys. Oh well.

And finally...

Linda Evangelista--seen here in Vogue Italia--deserves to be deified.

Offended by an Orphan.

2009-07-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have seen a lot of so-called "offensive" stuff. I saw Bruno and Borat and plenty of other stuff that people have walked out on. I giggled through Team America and lots of other movies that some have deemed offensive.

Well, for the first time in my life yesterday, I was offended by a movie so much that I nearly walked out. (For the record, I did not walk out for a few reasons. One, I had already paid--yes, I am that cheap. And two, I was not, of course, alone and I did not want to wait outside. And three, I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy and wanted to give the damn movie a chance.)

I don't really know if I was offended by the sheer awfulness of the film, its conceit or the actual content. The movie is bad, to be sure. You don't get a 44% on Rotten Tomatoes for nothing, after all. And to be clear, I was not offended in particular by the portrayal of older-adoption orphans or whatever like some adoption advocates have been, though that certainly did not help.

Like I said, I couldn't really nail down my offense, I just know it was there. But Ann Hornaday with the Washington Post shares my offense and--seeing as she's a professional film critic--is able to put that into words.

Hornaday calls Orphan a "depraved, worthless piece of filth," the writers of which "deserve their own circle of hell for thinking up the story, which moves with breathtaking cynicism from disturbing to grotesque to perverse to ludicrous."

She goes on to excuse only the child actors, saying they are "the only people who should escape unscathed from Orphan are the three young actors who play Farmiga and Sarsgaard's children, adopted and biological. The sadistic violence, symbolic incest and flirtation with pedophilia in the film -- not to mention its shameless perpetuation of toxic stereotypes surrounding the adoption of older children -- leads one to think their work on this film wasn't employment so much as child abuse."

Well...my thoughts exactly.

Oh, Linds.

2009-07-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

So, I used to be a HUGE Lindsay Lohan fan. Seriously. I pretty much loved her when she looked like this...

Not so much when she looked like this...
(It's sad, really. Google Image "Lindsay Lohan drunk" and you'll get over 186,000 hits.)

Right around the time she decided to be a lesbian is when I kind of jumped off the La Lohan train. And that ain't because she was a lesbian. Lord knows I love me some Ellen Degeneres far too much to hate lesbians.

Anyhow, last night saw the premiere of Labor Pains, the movie that was supposed to be Lindsay's big comeback movie. However, it didn't end up in theaters as planned, but rather as a TV movie on ABC Family. (Yeah...I know.)

Anyhow, the whole thing was just sad, really. It seemed to be cheaply made, Lindsay's acting sucked and the guy she fell for at the end was only blandly handsome. I mean, really Lindsay? Could we not do better?

So, Rich over at FourFour decided to whip up a YouTube montage detailing all the lines from the movie that seemed to directly relate to her life.

Behold:

Republican.

2009-07-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's not like she has much competition. But...

Meghan McCain might just be my favorite Republican ever.

Fanta!

2009-07-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

Okay. Do me a favor, okay? I work hard to entertain you, my loyal readers, so just do this one thing and we'll call it even. (Except for you. And you know you who you are.)

My fantastic friend Ashley is trying out to be the next Fanta girl. Her video is online now and voting continues for the next few weeks. She has, seriously, wanted to be a Fanta girl for like...forever. Seriously.

So. Go vote. You have to sign up for a log-in, but that takes like four seconds.

Vote here.

Do it. For me. For Ashley Smith. For Jesus. For all of humanity. Even Paris Hilton wants you to do it.

Zzz.

2009-07-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well, the list of cover "models" for the most important issue of fashion magazines is out. And...well...um...

From The Cut blog:

"Charlize Theron will appear on the cover of Vogue (she last appeared on the cover in October of 2007). Mamma Mia actress Amanda Seyfried will appear on the cover of Allure. Kate Moss will appear on the cover of W, naturally. Jennifer Aniston will appear on the cover of Elle. Jennifer Lopez will appear on the cover of In Style. Ashley Olsen will appear on the cover of Marie Claire. And inexplicable perennial newsstand favorite Jessica Simpson will appear on the cover of Glamour."

Yawn. I seriously just fell asleep.

Ribbon.

2009-07-14T07:24:00.001-07:00

Though I'm basically over the wall-to-wall coverage of Michael Jackson stuff (Rest in peace, people. Take it literally.), this is still pretty cool. So I guess you could say I'm fueling the flames.

Saved.

2009-07-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

I don't often wish I lived in England. (I like my teeth straight and my cookies called cookies. But whatev.)

But this here is one reason I do wish I lived there. BBC3 just aired a documentary called "Britney Spears Saved My Life."

OMG. I have a shirt that says something along those exact same lines! (It actually says "Britney Spears Changed My Life." And, yes, I wore it to her concert. And, no, it's not entirely free of irony.)

Anyhow, here's a sort of best-of montage thing. Enjoy!

Texas.

2009-07-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

I'm from Texas. If you don't know that, I'm not entirely sure you know me. I'm not one of those annoying "TEXAS IS THE BEST PLACE EVER" kind of people, but I do favor it over some other places (Oklahoma, I'm looking at you). Austin remains, in my opinion, one of the best cities in the nation; you can't beat the barbecue or the Tex-Mex; we've got all kinds of landscapes, from desert to rolling hills to prairies to forest. I could go on.

Anyhow...the fine folks over at Saveur magazine have published an issue dedicated to the Lone Star State, complete with a list of "24 Reasons Why We Love Texas." My favorite reasons? The shoutout to local favorite "Crawfish Feasts" (though I hate crawfish) and "Roughneck Gourmands."

Hot damn!

Crocodile.

2009-07-05T16:32:00.001-07:00

Every year, Lacoste (famous for their tennis gear and be-crocodiled polo shirts) commissions artists and designers to create a limited-edition line of shirts.

This year, they paired up with Fernadno and Humberto Campana to create some shirts that riff on the label's infamous logo.

The results are mostly forgettable, but take a close look at the shirt above. It turned out quite well.

Inapprop.

2009-07-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

Because it's fun to be totally inappropriate.

Heights.

2009-07-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'm not necessarily scared of heights, but this is still kind of terrifying.

The Sears Tower in Chicago--currently the nation's tallest building at 108 stories--just debuted some retractable windows that let you look down--straight down--from the observation deck all the way down to the ground. (!!!)

Not for the faint of heart, to be sure.

Slow news.

2009-06-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

In the lazy, hazy days of summer, news can get slow. So, this happens:

And that leads to this:

Road trip.

2009-06-30T11:42:00.001-07:00

I need to take a road trip to Austin to visit the city's first Arrested Development-inspired frozen banana stand.

Aside from the fact that I'm allergic to bananas and that the one on the left looks like a large black phallus, I still think this is super awesome.

Shiny.

2009-06-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

Basically, I'm a huge fan of Kanye West. So let's get that out of the way. And though I'm not a huge, huge fan of Lady GaGa (I enjoy her music just fine, but I think her she confuses pop music with high art), I do think the upcoming co-headlining tour with 'Ye and GaGa does sound very, very hot.

I don't know how many of you were fortunate to catch the absolutely fantastic Glow in the Dark Tour last summer, but it was one of the best I've ever seen. Kanye is truly in charge of every aspect of his vision. The stage on that tour was out of control and it seems that the one for his upcoming tour (hitting the US this fall) will be no different.

Check out these pictures, courtesy of Kanye's blog:

Ashley.

2009-06-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

My good friend and all-around excellent person Ashley has started a blog. She's smart, witty and has a pretty unique point of view. In her own words, she's "not your typical Christian. I believe in some things that may be shocking to my grandparents. I think that people in today's churches are self-centered and are missing Christ's main message of love. So yeah."

She's genuine, fun and totally legit. Check her out. Now!

Traitor.

2009-06-28T18:42:00.000-07:00

Well, over the past few months, I've slowly become a traitor. I used to swear by Vogue, thinking it was the be-all-end-all of fashion journalism. Well, starting with the pretty excellent fall fashion issue of Elle back in September, I've slowly become a fan of the younger sister in the fashion press.

And it seems I'm not alone.

According to Forbes, for the first time in...well...ever, Elle beat Vogue in ad pages in the first half of the year. It's not by much, but it's still something. Is this an end of an era?

(To be fair, Anna Wintour is still the most powerful woman in fashion.)

So true.

2009-06-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've heard all about the Perez Hilton debacle (no not that one, he's got another one now).

Well, I've read Perez Hilton's site in the past. I'll give him that. But lately, he's proven himself to be such an attention whore and ignorant human being, that I've stopped doing that. I'll get my celebrity gossip from Gawker and Pink anyway. Consider them the Letterman to Hilton's Leno. Same type of thing, only smarter.

Anyhow, Rich over at FourFour wrote up a great reason why Perez Hilton should go the way of pet rocks and Giga Pets. Read it here.

"I just kind of want to throw up my hands (or in my hands) and call out this character, this persona, this online half-person for what it is: bad for the Internet, bad for gay people, bad for the world. I can't help but feel like everything would be better off without him. I know that's a harsh and extreme point of view and believe me that I paused before typing that to actually consider him and his contribution to society. I'd go as far as to say I racked my brain and I've still come up with absolutely nothing positive or pro-social that he has brought to the world, at least on a public level (and keep in mind that I'm not following his every move, so I could have missed an act of philanthropy or two). But not even the "entertainment" he provides is to be commended, as it ultimately lowers the very low standards of the Internet. Forget the rich and famous, if you are a human being, Perez Hilton makes you look bad, no MS Paint necessary."

Just because.

2009-06-27T21:53:00.001-07:00

Best. Movie. Ever.

Coming soon.

2009-06-27T19:19:00.001-07:00

This basically looks super amazing.

Anna Wintour is notoriously private, so this documentary looks surprisingly all-access. I, for one, am very excited to see how the infamous September issue of Vogue comes together.

Not so invincible.

2009-06-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well, this is breaking news to no one, but Michael Jackson is dead.

I don't want to get all sappy or anything, but this really is a pretty big loss. That man was a huge cultural force. Proof? The fact that he sold out 50 shows in one city after years of absence in a matter of minutes. Sure he was crazy and unstable (allegedly), but his talent was undeniable.

Obviously, I didn't grow up during MJ's heyday. I wasn't in line at the Virgin Megastore when Bad or Thriller came out. But I do remember forcing my mom to drive me to Best Buy the day his last album Invincible came out. The cover came in several different colors, and I agonized over which color to purchase. (I settled on white.) Sure, the album ended up sucking pretty hardcore, but it tied me to a phenomenon of pop culture.

Here's to the comeback that never happened. Peace out.

Robin.

2009-06-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of hearing Robin Givhan give a talk at the Corcoran Gallery in DC last December. She was fantastic and incredibly nice as well.

She's a writer for the Washington Post and has won a Pulitzer, despite the fact that she writes mainly on style and fashion. (Though I personally think those topics are ripe with opportunities for incredible writing, it is rarely awarded honors such as the Pulitzer.)

Anyhow, there was a fantastic article in the Post by Givhan about the cultural influence of Michelle Obama, a favorite subject of Miss Givhan.

Read it here. Via Fashionista.

“In many ways, the first lady has made people see — really see — black women for the first time. For example, when a black model appeared on the May cover of Vogue, news articles credited the ‘Obama effect,’ ignoring the concerted lobbying by fashion industry activists that began long before Barack Obama was even a presidential contender…Enthusiasm over glossy-magazine beauty as defined by a darker-skinned black woman has to be seen against the backdrop of history, when black women’s appearance was used as a tool of oppression. High culture rhapsodized in love sonnets about ivory complexions, flaxen hair and ruby lips. And today, black women still mostly surface as sidebars in beauty stories.”
--Robin Givhan

Bump!

2009-06-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

It looks like Beyonce's been using the BumpIt.

See her whole tour book here. July 4th in Houston!

National treasure.

2009-06-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

"A month to celebrate gay, lesbian, transgender pride month? Somebody's proud of being transgendered? It's a tiny, tiny, tiny fraction of our population. One to two percent has this particular orientation, yet they dominate the news. It's just smiply amazing. Any country that openly embraces homosexuality throughout the history of mankind has gone down into ruin. Thats history. Thats the historical record. Whatever nation embraces this so-called lifestyle, it ends up in the garbage heap of history. So, lets watch what happens."

--Pat Robertson, The 700 Club

Pat Robertson, I think you're stupid.

First off, who the fuck cares what you think? These people are merely throwing a couple of parties to celebrate who they are and have some fun while doing it. Why do you care if there's a parade, eh?

Second, I think you may be confused. We all know what you're talking about. Rome is obviously one of the countries you're talking about, the one that embraced homosexuality and ended up
in "the garbage heap of history." Well, Mister Robertson, look at the facts. Rome was the pinnacle of Western society for over 400 years. Sure, it went into a rapid decline but when exactly did that happen? Well, when the Christians took over. Watch your mouth, you ignorant bastard.

That Pat Robetson. He truly is a national treasure, spreading the love and kindness of Jesus Christ.

"I'm a little sad to see this great nation of ours go the way that it is," he says. Well, you ancient piece of hateful shit, I'm a little sad to see that you're still alive, spewing hate for all your followers to hear.

(Watch the video here.)

Bad Marcus.

2009-06-15T14:51:00.001-07:00

Guys. I'm sorry. I've been a terrible blogger. I haven't posted anything in forever, either personal or entertaining.

Um.

I'll get better. Promise?

California is lame.

2009-05-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah, well. If California wants Iowa to be more progressive than them, then I guess that's their right. But whatev.

It's all terribly unfunny. But this video makes light of the whole thing.

Gives a whole new spin on the phrase "fairy tale," I suppose.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This is not a left/right, gay/straight, religious/secular issue. This is a simple matter of equality in a nation that's supposed to hold it above all else. I guess we'll see.

Glee.

2009-05-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

The title either refers to the name of the show or the feeling I got while watching it. Glee premiered after Idol on Tuesday night and...well...I'm sad I have to wait until fall for new episodes.

It was a fantastic show. Ryan Murphy did it again. (I still love Popular, years later.) It was funny, touching and the music was surprisingly non-annoying.

This scene, where the glee club reimagines Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" was by far my favorite scene of the night. I downloaded their version off iTunes and have listened to it several times. I looked for this yesterday and couldn't find it, but I'm glad it's on YouTube now. Enjoy.

Job.

2009-05-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

If I wasn't in the midst of graduating/traveling/job-searching/settling in to a new place, I'd write more. I'll be back soon. I promise.

Prayer.

2009-05-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Jesus, if you make this true, I will love you forever and ever and ever. Amen.

America.

2009-05-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

I have a problem with you, America.

You. Voted. Off. Allison.

Okay, she wasn't perfect. But her preternaturally aged voice and her amazing subtle talent was at least better than Danny "Hokey" Gokey. C'mon!

And her goodbye performance of Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby" (represent Southeast Texas!) last night brought down the motherfucking house. Don't lie. You know it did. She killed it.

BUT...there's a silver lining. As Michael Slezak over at EW.com put it, last night "Allison took her first post-Idol steps toward superstardom. And whether she goes on to rock the stage of her local La Curacao department store, or perform for sold-out arenas, she'll never again have to pause after a performance, grit her teeth, and have her personality, her fashion sense, her song choices, and various other non-singing-related ''flaws'' picked apart by a one-time hired hand for Journey, a verbose she-beast in search of the perfect ''package artist,'' a woman who isn't ashamed to lip-synch in front of the singing hopefuls she judges on a weekly basis, and a dude who cares so little about his $36 million job that he keeps one eye on the clock while fantasizing about his cigarette breaks."

If Gokey takes this thing, I'm moving to Canada.

Lady.

2009-05-06T06:41:00.001-07:00

That's my First Lady, y'all! And she is H-O-T. Good job, Michelle.

The picture above is from Mrs. Obama's appearance at the Time 100 Most Influential People gala. (M.I.A. was, by the way, one of those 100.) No offense to the Bush family, but could you ever imagine Laura showing up looking like this to any event? Or even Hillary Clinton, for that matter? No!

Even if the boy Obama is an epic fail in the presidency department, the Obama era will at least go down as being super fantastic looking.

Counter.

2009-05-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

To counterbalance the rant in the previous post, I give you...

Rihanna looking smoking hot!

RiRi showed up to the MET gala last night looking damn good in D&G. Go on, girl. Blond streak that man right out of your hair!

Verge.

2009-05-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

I am seriously on the verge of becoming jaded. I used to brush off the often-heard rants from seniors about college. Well, I'm about to go on one.

First off, I'm $40,000 in debt with a degree that is pretty much useless. The semester I learned the most was one that I didn't even spend on campus. I'm well aware that I chose my major, but it would have been nice for someone to say, "Hey, just so you know...the media doesn't really care if you graduated college. They just want you to have some impressive clips." And, yeah, I know that college has helped towards this fact, but that $40K staring me in the face scares the shit out of me.

Aside from that, it's the small stuff. Yesterday, I picked up my cap and gown. It's cheaper (in quality) than the one in high school. Seriously. The tassel looks like it came from some catalog of crappy party favors. I also filled out a form for the Alumni Relations office so they can start to send me letters asking me to give money that I simply won't have.

And just now, I did book buy back. Yesterday, I had two books that they won't be buying back because the teacher is using different books next year. The books were brand fucking new this year. Today, I took a $125 book to return. I got...$5. They had "met their quota" and were just buying books to sell to another company. The other two books I had today were a bit wet from the rain. He said "I'm not really supposed to buy these back if they're wet at all." I looked at him with a blank face and was like, "It's raining outside."

I know that all of life is about money and I'll be bleeding it on a daily basis in "real life." But...ugh...whatev.

Four more days, four more days, four more days.

View.

2009-04-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

So, it's no secret that I love Vegas. (At least it shouldn't be.) I don't love the city for the cliche reasons, either. I've never been to a strip club, actually; the most I've ever spent gambling was $30 on one trip; the food and shopping are amazing but the best are a bit out of my price range. The only typical thing that I've taken part in is the shows. (List: Phantom of the Opera, Jubilee, O, Ka, Zumanity, Crazy Horse, Bette, Price is Right, Cher and Lance Burton.)

No, I like Vegas for other reasons. One is that Vegas is so materialistic, so full of knowing artifice that it is, to steal a book title, the "last honest place in America."

Also, the views are amazing. As the pretty much amazing Richard Abowitz over at the Movable Feast says, the best view "one when your plane lands the right way and you see the Strip reaching up below you and your heart starts beating faster."

I know the feeling.

Wrong.

2009-04-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

What. The. Fuck?

Lady, I think you might be retarded. Seriously. I dare you to say that to Judy Shepard's face.

Bitch.

Torture.

2009-04-26T16:26:00.001-07:00

Well, here's something new. I actually agreed with a Fox News anchor.

Shepard Smith got a little testy over the torture debate on a Fox News webcast last week. Two of his co-anchors were going back and forth over the definition of torture and whether or not waterboarding can be defined as such...blah blah blah.

That's right, Shep. We are America and "we do not fucking torture." (His words.)

Miss Parton.

2009-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

I contend that Dolly Parton is one of the most undervalued artists out there. Her artistry is as subtle as her persona is outrageous. This may be a woman who wears giant platinum blonde wigs and has massive tits, but she's incredibly talented and, it seems, down to earth. She wrote "I Will Always Love You," after all. And, I think, hers has been and will always be the best version. (Sorry, Whitney. Yours was great for the movies, but the original captures the true emotion of the song without all the unneccesary bombast.)

Anyhow, 9 to 5: The Musical is opening on Broadway soon and New York magazine has done a profile of the luminous Dolly Parton.

Read. Be enlightened.

Me.

2009-04-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

This still cracks me up every single time I see it. (Also, this happened to me--minus the apparent fainting--as a kid, with minor variations. Don't judge.)

Pageant.

2009-04-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this whole Miss USA thing that happened over the weekend. If you don't know what happened, Perez Hilton--celebrity blogger--was a judge. During the finals, he asked Miss California if she thought that gay marriage should be legalized in all fifty states, as it has recently been done in Iowa and Vermont.

Well, Miss California (Carrie Prejean) answered in the negative, claiming that while she was glad that we all had a choice here in America, that she personally felt gay marriage should not be legalized.

Well, of course the blogs exploded. Perez Hilton is posting story after story about the controversy, not to mention appearing on tons of talk shows and news programs discussing the whole thing. (He's clearly relishing the attention it's getting him.)

And, of course, I side with him on the topic at hand. I do believe that gay marriage should be legal in all fifty states. I do feel that gays and lesbians have the fundamental right to get married, just as their straight counterparts.

But...I feel like this is being overblown. Perez and others are calling out Miss California, calling her close-minded and bigoted. Yeah, sure, her beliefs don't line up with mine. And, yeah, I think she's being a bit narrow in her beliefs as well. But, this is America. And she does have the choice to say whatever she wants. Some are saying that a potential Miss USA should not hold such "narrow-minded beliefs" and that she should be more "politically correct."

Well, despite all the recent attempts at making Miss USA a role model and activist, she is ultimately a beauty queen. As long as she's pretty, what does it really matter? I say good for her for standing up for what she believes. I think she's wrong, but I commend her for doing what she felt was the right thing.

Others are saying that a question like this is unfair in this type of competition. That, too, is unfair. It's a question and answer time. Questions are supposed to be relevant and important to our country. This debate is, obviously, a dynamic and constantly evolving one. It's the perfect question to be asked. That being said, it can and should be answered however the person wants to answer.

Gays should be allowed to marry. This is America.
People should be able to express their opposition to gay marriage. This is America.

Question.

2009-04-20T22:26:00.001-07:00

Does anyone even read this anymore?

Rick.

2009-04-16T15:15:00.001-07:00

"We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."

--Rick Perry, Governor of Texas

Rick Perry, I think you're stupid. Speaking at one of those stupid TEA parties yesterday, Rick Perry riled up the crowd by telling everyone that Texas might just secede someday.

Why, yes, Rick. We are an independent lot. And, of course, Texas is a very unique place. But that certainly does not mean we should just up and secede for the fun of it. Have you given this any major thought? (Answer: No.) Of course, seceding the damn state from the union would make the perfect capstone for your major fuck-up of a governorship.

What makes this all worse is the comments on the story on CNN. Several of the comments make assumptions about all of Texas, assuming that we're all a bunch of secessionist hicks who hate liberals and federal taxes. Thanks, Rick Perry, for that bit of public relations service.

Douche bag. If you're registered to vote in the great state of Texas and you vote for this man next November, I am no longer your friend. Seriously.

(Hat tip to my friend, Jessica Cory, for posting this story on her Facebook.)

Sitcom.

2009-04-15T13:37:00.001-07:00

My Three Sons has got to be one of the best (and most underappreciated) sitcoms of all time. Seriously.

Lindsay.

2009-04-14T21:58:00.001-07:00

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

This is why I loved her in the first place. Here, she's charming and funny, not to mention self-aware and good-humored. Good job, Lindsay. Now go make a (good) movie.

Re-miss.

2009-04-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

I still miss DC. (Plus, this is just super cool.)

Things.

2009-04-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

These are the things that are pissing me off today (despite the absolutely fantastic weather and promise of a long weekend).

1. This gay marriage debate happening on all the 24 hour news dumps. No, it's not really the opposing side that's making me angry, but rather how people are acting. In a clip from Hardball, both sides seem to talk over each other and resort to calling each other liars. Even Joe Solmonese, of the Human Rights Campaign, resorts to petty accusations. Come on, guys. Grow up and learn how to debate in an effective, informative manner.

2. This lady at work. She was telling me about her cross tattoo. (By the way, I couldn't have cared less.) She hasn't gotten it yet and is fearful of getting one in light of "the times." Well, it took me a minute to realize that she was referring to the "End Times" rather than these "hard times" of recession. No, her worry wasn't over the amount of money it would take to get a cross engraved into her skin, but rather that it would mark her for easy martyrdom. As my friend Ian said via Tweet, "She's pussing out on martyrdom? Man, she's not making it in the rapture." Nail, meet head. (Not to mention that she went on about the mark of the beast and how the IdentiKid chips only work in the hand and forehead. And how the government is planning on implanting these in everybody for "supposed medical use." Well, apparently that's not true--also via Ian, who I'll trust in these matters. Whatever. Hello fear mongering!)

3. This one old dude (he's like fortysomething) from my Contemporary Social Issues class. He's loud, he's conservative, he's close-minded. He never shuts up and he constantly expresses his opinion in a condescending way. Today, after watching Crash, the class was discussing the film. Now, I'm not one of those people that thinks this movie will change humanity and erase all prejudice. But this old ass was claiming that it only reinforces stereotypes and causes people to think, "Well, the world just sucks. Why should I even try?" Aside from that being incredibly cynical, it's also a completely insane interpretation of that movie. In this case, it wasn't necessarily the topic, but rather the straw that broke the camel's back. Shut up, dude. No one wants to hear you talk anymore. (By the way, this guy talked to a friend of mine, expressing concern over the fact that this R-rated movie was being shown in class anyway. Come on.)

This all deserves one big "LAME."

Stupid.

2009-04-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

Hateful. Untrue.

Better.

2009-04-09T09:22:00.001-07:00

That is the SAME DRESS, ladies and gentleman. It's by Calvin Klein, and it's from a spread in next month's Harper's Bazaar. Halle Berry's on the cover and she has this to say: "I'm not the girl for superhigh fashion because I don't have the right body. When I want to get dressed up, I'm a Roberto Cavalli girl." Well, I think this proves you wrong. You look much better than that nameless model does in the dress. Way. To. Go.

Bonus.

2009-04-08T14:46:00.001-07:00

In this bonus clip from the Britney Spears documentary that aired last November on MTV, Britney Spears gets a surprise from her people...driving her own car.

If I learned anything from this documentary, it was that I never want to be super-famous. The privacy just goes out the window. The clip above does a good job of illustrating that point in a subtle way. (Seriously.)

Britney: For the Record came out on DVD yesterday.

Music.

2009-04-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Well, here's the thing: I love Kelly Clarkson and I'm slowly becoming a fan of one Keri Hilson. So this Timberlake and Timbaland-produced cover of the former's "Since U Been Gone" by the latter is pretty awesome, for me. (The mix is a bit much--hello harmonizing--but I'll forgive that.)

Also, though I've never been a huge American Idol fan, I have watched more this season. And...

Team Allison! That girl can sing. She's equal parts Kelly Clarkson (cool beans!), Christina Aguilera and Pink (maybe it's just the hair). I totally stole that description from a comment over on Idolator--along with that picture--but I'm cool with that.

Ooze.

2009-04-07T11:53:00.001-07:00

There is so much class and genius oozing out of this picture, it hurts.

FYI: I think Hugh Hefner was, at one time, a brilliant editor and publisher. He clearly tapped into a market that was begging to be recognized and is all the richer for it. He was prolific and brilliant, turning a lowly magazine into an empire that far transcends print. I've never actually read Playboy, but apparently it is true that some people really do "read it for the articles," seeing as some truly legendary writers have been published in its pages. However, I believe that in recent years, the Hef has become a bit of a joke, a ghost of his past self, leaving the running of his company to others. The countless "girlfriends" don't help this image, either. But he is 83--this photo is from his recent party at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas--and well past retirement age. Plus, the guy seems like he's having the time of his life. So I can't fault him too much.

Been there.

2009-04-06T13:13:00.001-07:00

Oh, sweetheart. Kelly Clarkson has been there, done that.

(Picture of Carrie Underwood from last night's Academy of Country Music Awards in Vegas. Via.)

Sex.

2009-04-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, there's a song that explodes because of the video. (In this day and age, that is becoming increasingly rare.) I think this was the case for "Single Ladies." The simple but hypnotic video combined with the absolutely killer live performances by Beyonce during her promo tour made that song even better (and propelled its popularity, I believe).

Anyhow, when I first heard "Love Sex Magic" by Ciara--and featuring Justin Timberlake--I didn't really love the song. I thought it was catchy, but I didn't love it. It has since grown on me.

But now this video has made it even better. The video is totally hot; those opening shots are pretty much the SEX. Both Ciara and JT look amazing. Good job, you two.

I think this has the potential to be a pretty big summer hit. (Song of the Summer? Maybe. We'll see.)

I would venture to say you won't want to watch this with the old folks. Just a warning.

Vag.

2009-04-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

Um. Nice prom dress you got there, sweetheart.

Via.

Festival.

2009-04-01T15:31:00.001-07:00

I have a love-hate relationship with the Austin City Limits Music Festival. It's hot as hell, dusty as Springfield and crowded like whoa. But it's also a lot of fun.

So, of course, when I had the chance to buy three day passes for $50 each, I nabbed 'em. (I was put in a drawing since I attended last year and was on the email list. Hence the amazing price.) So I'm waiting with some anticipation to find out what the lineup will be like this year. For the record, I loved the 2007 lineup and thought last years was good but not great.

Anyhow, the official lineup is still a few weeks away. (No date has been set, but last year it was announced on April 15.) But that hasn't stopped the speculation and reported "leaks." In past years, these rumors have been about 50/50 in truthfulness.

But AustinSoundCheck is claiming Mos Def is slated to appear, a fact that I would pretty much love. And if Austin360 is to be believed, Pearl Jam, Beastie Boys, Dave Matthews Band, Kings of Leon and Ghostland Observatory will be headlining the festival this year. (Those get a big "meh" from me. Though I do love "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon and I've heard GLO puts on a great show. Plus, the Clarissa Explains It All fan in me might want to see some Pearl Jam.)

Austin360 is also reporting that the B-52s, Sonic Youth, John Legend and Thievery Corporation will be rocking out Austin come this October. (Sonic Youth is the only exciting one there, for me, though I suppose the B-52s could be fun.)

Reality.

2009-04-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Well, well. We all know that I love me some reality TV. (Don't judge.)

I posted the trailer for the fifth (and final) season of The Hills a month or so ago. We're all aware that the epic feud betwixt Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag seems to be over. So it's no surprise to find that in the promo pics for the new season, Heidi and Lauren are totally all up ons. Check it out.

OMG. They're touching! They are clearly BFFs again!

Also, in better news, it seems like the legal troubles that have been plaguing Project Runway have been solved, as reported by Entertainment Weekly. It looked for a while like the show would never see the light of day again, but NBC has manned up and paid off Bravo, clearing the path for the show to premiere on Lifetime (still lame), reportedly sometime this summer! I think we can all let out a resounding "Yay!"

Rogers.

2009-04-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

"I like you just the way you are."

I love this man. He seriously had a profound impact on my childhood, and I think his work in this world is important and long-lasting. Mister Rogers was incredible.

Stolen with wild abandon from Ian.

Britney.

2009-03-31T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, for those of you that don't know, I saw Britney Spears in concert last night. If you're reading this, then you have to be aware that I'm a pretty big fan. (I mean, when her album came out late last year, this blog pretty much turned into a fan site.)

Anyhow, this was my first time to see the legendary Miss Britney Spears. And she didn't disappoint. It was a huge spectacle, full of crazy costumes, intense sets, dramatic lighting and lip syncing. But you don't go to a Britney show for her vocal prowess.

The dancing was not as spot-on as it used to be, but the girl can be forgiven. (She is older, after all. And she suffered a rather serious knee injury a few years back.)

The energy in the Toyota Center in Houston was absolutely intense, more dynamic and eager with anticipation than any other show I've ever been to (including Madonna).

Overall, I loved it. It wasn't the most fun I've had at a concert (that honor, strangely enough, goes to the Spice Girls in Vegas back in December 2007). But it was a sure sign that Britney is back--for now.

Rose.

2009-03-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Rose, had her recital over the weekend. She goes to Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego (jealous). She apparently sang one of my favorite songs, "Falling Slowly" from the movie Once. Watch it above.

Rush.

2009-03-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

"I heard some top of the hour news and it made me feel uncomfortable. It's about the flooding in Fargo, North Dakota brought on by the melting snowpack and the icepack. (reading from news item) "As the Red River threatens to overflow, they're filling in the dikes." Isn't there a more appropriate word? Do we have to say, I mean, we don't have any dikes here. The 'dykes' are over there...They're filling in the dikes. Couldn't we change that to 'they're filling in the contingencies' or something?...We really need to change that word."

--Rush Limbaugh, on his radio show

Rush Limbaugh, I think you're (incredibly) stupid.

Because all of us are just that immature that the word "dike" offends us. It's what it's called, buddy.

For those of us who have working brains, Mister Limbaugh, we can over look the fact that these "dikes" being used in North Dakota sound a lot like a particular slur.

Rush Limbaugh. Jackass-ery at it's finest.

Threat.

2009-03-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

According to this video, the rumors about Jamie Spears not being such a nice guy just might be true.

I don't know if this video is real or not, but it sure seems to be. The legal problems of Britney Spears are awful indeed, so I certainly hope this is either fake or just overblown.

Either way, I'm seeing Britney Spears tonight. Of course, I'm excited. It seems, on most accounts, that the concert is a good one. I'm hoping so. And I sure hope Britney is happy and gets all this shit sorted out soon enough.

Dumb.

2009-03-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, I think you're dumb. Literally.

"I'm not a supporter of legalizing prostitution in Nevada. So, by taxing it, there's a recognition of the legality of it. And, that's all I want to say."
--Jim Gibbons, Nevada Governor

(Let me go on record as saying that I don't think there's anything wrong with legalizing prostitution. It's going to happen no matter what. It really doesn't hurt anyone that much. And making it legal will introduce a way of controlling and regulating it, making it much less dangerous for those involved. It might sound immoral--and it probably is--but I'm not in the habit of legislating my morality.)

Anyhow, this is stupid not for the refusal to make prostitution legal. No, that's not why I think you're dumb, Gov. Gibbons. I think you're dumb for the way you said it.

First thing: Um. Prostitution IS legal in Nevada. I'm not sure if you know that. But in ten counties it is 100% legal (oddly enough, not including Clark County where Las Vegas happens to be). Second thing: You're going to refuse the legality of something (that is already legal, by the way) by refusing to tax it? Mature, buddy. Real mature.

Here's what Richard Abowitz (who writes the excellent Vegas blog A Moveable Buffet) has to say about the whole thing:

"Here is the weird part. No one in a position of power, including the governor, is proposing making prostitution illegal in Nevada. The legal brothels are crucial support for rural counties in Nevada that depend on taxing them for a large part of their local budgets. So, instead of fighting to make prostitution illegal, opposition to legal brothels is generally expressed in Nevada by opposing any effort to tax them. Are ostriches indigenous to this desert?"

Agreed, sir.

Wild.

2009-03-25T12:03:00.001-07:00

I remember when I was a kid, I loved Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. The book has very little text, but the pictures tell such an amazing story. Maybe it was because I was an only child, but I completely related to the tale, even as a small kid.

When I heard there was an adaptation to the book being filmed, I was a bit skeptical. The story is simple and I wasn't sure how that would relate to the big screen.

When I heard Spike Jonze was attached to direct, I was excited. But then I saw some raw test footage that was released and my excitement disappeared. Coupled with all the delays the movie was experiencing, I was thinking we might have another How the Grinch Stole Christmas on our hands. A beloved children's tale taken over by an acclaimed director, with the result of an overblown, overstuffed and underloved dud of a picture.

But with this new trailer that has come out, I have to say I'm excited again. I mean, the choice of "Wake Up" by the Arcade Fire is pretty much perfect (LOVE that song). But the visuals all look pretty perfect as well. This ain't some prettied up Hollywood version, or at least it doesn't appear that way.

I am now officially excited for October.

Optimism.

2009-03-25T11:43:00.000-07:00

"Society doesn’t need newspapers. What we need is journalism. For a century, the imperatives to strengthen journalism and to strengthen newspapers have been so tightly wound as to be indistinguishable. That’s been a fine accident to have, but when that accident stops, as it is stopping before our eyes, we’re going to need lots of other ways to strengthen journalism instead."

--Clay Shirky, "Newspapers and Thinking the Unthinkable"

It's true. Journalism is not dying; newspapers are dying. It is still sad that these bastions of truth and knowledge, free speech and public discourse will soon be gone. As a journalist, I will mourn the loss. There is something eternally romantic about the Newspaper, something delightfully archaic and timeless. But we can't dwell on that. Society is changing. And this article gives some good advice on getting over the past and moving on, keeping journalism alive instead of killing it by trying to revive newspapers.

Hat tip. Via.

Adopt me.

2009-03-24T22:00:00.001-07:00

I would like to submit my name now. I am totally willing to be adopted by Ellen and Portia. Just saying.

She's sorry, y'all!